Disciplining Children: Who should be responsible?

The Bible says, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”. Then the great question is who is responsible in disciplining children at home? Many at times, discipline always come from one parent this is because; couples have adopted the “Good Cop” an “Bad Cop” attitude. The bad cop is that parent who is strict and applies all the rules for the good of the family. The good cop is that parent who children will run to when they want to bend some rules for their own benefit.

So what is discipline? Discipline is a Latin word that means learning. In other words children learn through discipline not just blindly following some set of rules. Children would like to understand the nature of the rules and their consequences in their part. It’s true; parents have their different discipline style, which the couples should agree before marriage and set relevant rules for them to follow in the family.

Disciplining children has caused ripples in families, even when they are biological parents involved in disciplining their own children. To some parties, they will feel the children are being abused with how they are treated. Which might not be true, just because there’s no agreement between the couples?  You and Hubby should then try to find common ground and agree on an approach. For instance, if you both decide your baby shouldn’t be picked up the minute he starts to cry during the night, and then you should both stick to that. Or if you both decide that when your infant loses his temper playing with a puzzle toy, it should be taken from him temporarily, then that’s what you should both do. A joint approach like that will avoid unnecessary conflicts and resentment.

In the end, you and your spouse have to determine what the best way to have family discipline is. And if the good cop, bad cop approach suits you, that’s your choice. But the alternative method of having more balance roles can also be effective.

Another serious question that will always arise is, what if it’s a blended family, who should do the discipline? I can only say this, children will only take discipline positive if the biological parents are involved. Children become more rebellious and hard headed when stepparents take the role of disciplining them. For the stepparents to take a role in disciplining their children, they should consider the following things:

(a)          Children are hurt by divorce

(b)         Set an example for your children

(c)          Don’t be wishy-washy. Decided on how discipline will be carried out and stick to the rules.

(d)         Treat every child fairly and equally.